Friday 6 May 2016

Endings and New Beginnings

2015-07-05 14.47.16For the past 9 months I have been facilitating a group of year 1 MSc Therapeutic Counselling Students at University of Greenwich. My role is to sit with 11 students in something called Experiential Group.

Perhaps explaining what the group is to do and the aim of the Experiential Group would help to frame what I have enjoyed about the experience and why I am sad to see the group come to a close. The Experiential Group is essentially the last component of 4 or 5 sections of training to be a counsellor. Other training providers may have a range of different modules for training counsellors to take part in. At University of Greenwich Theory, Skills, Case Discussion and Experiential Group were the running order of the day when I attended 2008-2011.

In Experiential Group, members discuss topics that have arisen in the course of the week and share these with the group. The space is infused with dynamism, ideas, emotions and rememberings . My role is to sit amongst the group, and notice what is happening in the room and offer insights and reflections to the group for reflection and application to the conversation.

At the first meeting in September the group asked what my role was, ‘Like what do you do?’ I smiled in response and did not offer much as an explanation. The 11 members of the group as one, looked perplexed, as if I were holding back some valuable information. I eventually offered that I facilitate the space.

I can reflect on joining my experiential group in 2008 with 15 unknown people in the room and feeling at odds with 2 conflicting ideas. The first was that my previous counselling skills course at Morley College had offered a similar collective learning experience but was termed either a check in or a check out. The check ins were at the beginning of the course and the Check outs came at the end. I had some knowledge of what the experiential group was about. But did I? Really?

I can remember in 2008 that I wanted to suggest we check-in and check-out. This would have given me a frame to work within for every group meeting. It may have provided others with a ‘have to’ which could have been prescriptive and not as comforting. Great for me, perhaps not necessary for everyone else. After attempting to make check-ins a part of our experiential group meetings the idea was phased out after 2 meetings. At the time I was not happy about this phasing out but looking back I can see the reason that check-ins were moved past.

The second thought at the time was, that there are other people here and they may know more about counselling than me so I should listen and follow their lead as I don’t want to make myself look inept and out of my depth.

Looking back on my need for structure then, I can witness a need to control and pace things in a measured way. What happened with this year’s year one students, was apart from time boundaries there were little imposed rules for the group to hold on to. They managed well with little to guide discussion or rules for the group.

The purpose of the experiential group, which is not in the course hand book but a suspicion on my part, is to grow the counselling experience and the counsellors awareness of self and other in the 32 x 1 hour appointments. I have found this group process remarkable, confusing, frustrating, hilarious, as a way of engaging student counsellors works to hone inherent skill development.

It works because of what each member brings to each meeting. There are differences of opinion, differences in thought, seeing aspects of counselling and psychotherapy in a wide number of perspectives, a collaboration of suspicions, they share successes and failures, difficulties are offered as talking points for the group to reflect. The aspect that makes me wryly smile is that the energy of the room sways and motivates discussion in surprising ways. Pop culture and Pop psychology is often used to hang uncomfortable and indigestible components of counselling and psychotherapy on. Humour was often used to smooth away the cracks that appeared in a discussion that encountered difficulty or a different opinion.

The group then use the experiential group and components of the course as well as their placements to write 2 professional logs. The professional logs are informed by personal notes taken throughout the year. These notes observe how each participant has used/observed themselves and material from the course in describing themes relevant to them, their progression on the course and relating this to skills, placement (counselling skills application), case discussion and the experiential group. With each professional log students grew their awareness and their roles as counsellors in each particular setting they practiced their skills in. It was a privilege to sit amongst the group and witness these nano changes, that were in fact gargantuan.

My excitement wanes as I acknowledge that I won’t have this 1st again. These 11 students go on to year 2 or elsewhere to continue their journey in a way that is outside of my knowledge, experience and guidance.

With this said, I am invited to look at what lies at the horizon and begin my walk toward this…

Bon chance.

Friday 29 April 2016

Missing Gregory Porter





I first recognised the talent of Gregory Porter a number of years ago as I listened to Jazz FM’s Dinner Jazz with Helen Mayhew or Sarah Ward. I am unable to remember which presenter it was. The presenter mentioned that Mr Porter was playing at Pizza Express in Central London and tickets could be won if I entered a raffle. I promptly did and was not chosen to go and see Gregory Porter. Disappointed I noticed as Mr Porter rose to international acclaim with his 1960 What? Song which was notable for his rousing call to bear witness to the efforts of the civil rights movement in the 60’s. He was nominated and then won a grammy in 2014.

Skylark
Have you anything to say to me
Won't you tell me where my love can be
Is there a meadow in the mist
Where someone's waiting to be kissed

My writing is to pay homage to a generous friend who invited me to attend a Gregory Porter concert in London. To which I turned down. CDC’s invite was a call to see and hear a great singer share his magic. Usually I would have jumped at the chance as I have wanted to see Mr Porter for about 5 years. To explain, there were 2 good reasons why I did not attend.

One reason was as a result of having a client and the second reason was for my monthly external supervision.

Skylark
Have you seen a valley green with spring
Where my heart can go a-journeying
Over the shadows and the rain
To a blossom covered lane

To cancel a client appointment to go and see a long admired singer is not reason enough for me. I would not count myself as virtuous or saintly. I feel strongly that an investment in time has been made by the client and I wanted to honour that. I also acknowledge the commitment every client I work with has to engage with counselling. In truth I enjoy my work. I am currently involved with a piece of work where I walk and talk along the Thames. I have wanted to take part in Walk and Talk therapy along the Thames since I had the idea 4 years ago. Now that I am walking my dream, not even an invite to see Gregory Porter could pull me away.

And in your lonely flight
Haven't you heard the music in the night
Wonderful music, faint as a will o' the wisp
Crazy as a loon
Sad as a gypsy serenading the moon

The person I am working with is an artist and I enjoy what they share and how they see the world. The walking invites a reflexive quality in engaging with therapy in a natural environment. The client and myself collaboratively address their challenges, successes and acknowledge how new ways of seeing a problem can be worked into their life. Every walk differs, the weather, light, season, other path users and sights inform the discussions. What can be assessed as useful is adopted in the session. On this evening’s walk we passed 2 paddle boat cruisers, docked yet standing out with their large chimneys. It was like we had miss-stepped the Thames and had been transported to the Mississippi of the 1920’s.

To have missed a walk and talk therapy session for Gregory Porter could have presented me with an unanswerable dilemma that did not offer either me or the client with comfortable outcomes. To delay gratification was a simple and fair choice. The alternative would have been to have postponed the client and supervision for Gregory Porter. I would then have spent the evening listening yet not connecting with his artistry, as I wondered about both my client and how Supervision would have been.

For the 6 years I have had Supervision I have worked with 3 very experienced counselling supervisors. Each one has gently supported my growth as a counsellor, reassuring me when I feel I have made an error with my work, sharing either personal insights or helping me to see things in a number of different ways.

My current external supervisor is no different. He has a way of helping me go beyond regular thinking and into new realms of thought, empathy and compassion. I shared my dilemma of wanting to go and see Gregory Porter or meet with my client and then see him – my supervisor. He smiled and nodded. I told him of the story as written above and he said ‘It is a great song.’

Skylark
I don't know if you can find these things
But my heart is riding on your wings
So if you see them anywhere
Won't you lead me there

For the past 3 years I also have peer supervision which differs slightly as they, my peer, are on a similar page to me in their counselling journey. The support offered here is similar to a gym training partner. Supervision is a necessary component of my work and I value it’s usefulness and what is shared. I realise that maintaining a component of humility, holding my work forward to be offered as a showing of my craft helps to keep me and those that I work with safe. I recognise that professional boundaries are useful in helping to frame the work.

When I first heard Gregory’s version of Skylark it was an instant Jazz favourite of mine. There is a powerful vulnerability to his phrasing that has me press repeat each time the song ends. As a non-singer I appreciate how hard Gregory has worked to offer his rendition. The last 20 seconds of Skylark melt me each and every time, I know the song is coming to an end I am hoping for a little more in it, something additional that would let me put the song to rest. Gregory pleads with an earnestness that is beguiling keeping me in check. Inviting me to hear the crash of the keys and the fading of the horn as his voice recedes…

Skylark
I don't know if you can find these things
But my heart is riding on your wings
So if you see them anywhere
Won't you lead me there

Skylark by Gregory Porter https://youtu.be/2Ej6Wr7i6C8